The Need For Control

Or in my case the need to let go of control.  I have read so many articles and literture about this subject and yet i seem to forget the information.

Background Information:

Control is a deep need from the beginning of our existence.   It is the FIGHT OR FLIGHT SYNDROME.  When I feel out of control I feel anxious,  and powerless.



Diagram of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
Image via Wikipedia

From an evolutionary standpoint, if we are in control of our environment, then we have a far better chance of survival.  Our deep subconscious mind thus gives us strong biochemical prods when we face some kind of danger.


This is a list of a few needs that lead to a sense of control:

I will highlight my needs in red.

A sense of certainty

Completion of outstanding things, so we don’t have to worry about them

Understanding of how things work

Being able to predict what will happen

That people (including ourselves) and things are consistant

Psychologist Abraham Maslow defined a hierarchy of needs,  with particular revelation that when lower needs are. not met,  then the higher-level needs will be abandoned in favor of shoring up the deeper needs.

The diagram above is the hierarchy.  Notice how  control is important within this, especially the lower you go.


The reason I write about CONTROL?

I have been told over and over by counselors,  psychologist, and so many other people, I have control issues.  I have used this excuse to get away with bitchy behavior and unreasonable actions.

So, I thought if I reviewed my knowledge and shared with whoever reads this, that I would be conscious acknowledging the problem.


Now What?

Giving up control is not a 1 2 3 process as so many want to believe.  I believe in handing issues I know I cannot change over to my God.  My problem is when I am clueless I am controlling, or as others call it MANIPULATING.

Some advice given throughout the articles I read,  that seems reasonable to understand and easy for ME to practice are:

Realize that the harder we try to control a behavior, a person, or a creative endeavor, the less likely we are to succeed.

The  struggle to control is usually a futile exercise that can drive each of us and those around us a little crazy.


About autumnlambert02

Me, what about me. Sometimes a little, but must of the time ALOT. I decided two years ago that I needed to figure out who I was. I'm still working on it. View all posts by autumnlambert02

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